I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Say something about gay babies.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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