i permit you to call me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
