It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He did a backflip because drugs
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
