I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
