the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
