Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
