i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
