awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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