Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
