thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
