Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
