he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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