she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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