the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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