If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
