She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
