He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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