no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
need another drink. this is the easiest way
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
