Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
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