Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
