After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
