I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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