first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
