I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
