We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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