i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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