I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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