i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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