Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
