sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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