Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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