3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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