So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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