While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
