Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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