don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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