it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
