Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
