I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I would ride that face into the sunset
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
