Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
