made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
