i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
