he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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