***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
