ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
