Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
