so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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