I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
