I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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