the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm always down for nudity.
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