You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
