dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
im holly from the hills drunk
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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