very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
