Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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