dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
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