i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
