i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
