You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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