Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
