Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
His nipple licking is glorious
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